Wow, reading this article in the New York Times, The Power of Touch, Especially For Men, was like deja vu from my previous blog.
If you recall in that blog below, I discussed how non-sexual touch can be used to manage sleep issues after the stress of those wildfires that destroyed a good portion of Sonoma County. Now the NYT is discussing how American men need more non-sexual touch, especially amongst each other. Dr. Ofer Zur is, unfortunately, correct: most socially acceptable touch for men is limited to violence and sex. I see so many men in my practice get the majority of their touch needs, A.K.A. skin hunger, met via sex. So for those guys sex has a greater urgency, importance, as well as possible implications. That's a lot to put on sex and your partner! Especially when they're not available for sex.
So this gets me thinking about about a really big question: how can we facilitate changing the culture of men to normalize non-sexual touch? I hope you will ponder this question too.
I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist located in Sonoma county, California.